I am horrified at the crime that was committed at Sycamore Gap. This is not vandalism, it is murder. Just because trees do not wonder around with a mobile phone glued to their faces does not mean they are not sentient beings. They just live to a different timescale from we rats scurrying about their feet.

They deserve our respect and our care. Which is more than can be said for the lifeform that did this.

But, there is hope.

This is a picture I took some years ago of a tree in some dickhead’s driveway.

Someone has taken a chainsaw to her, and not for the first time. You can still see the silent screams from the earlier attacks. All probably because R Head didn’t like her blotting his view, or her leaves were inconvenient in the autumn or some such nonsense. She was here before you, sonny, so if you don’t like it, jog on.

But, if you look closely, near the top, you will see that she still has skin in the game. There is a little twig coming out.

And again, further down her trunk

She ain’t done yet. And she will go on doing this long after we’ve gone, I hope.

Ladies of a certain age don’t get phased by the murderous ambitions of – well, lesser lifeforms.

The Queen of Sycamore Gap will come back if we leave her alone and let her be.

How do I know these creatures are female?

Seriously?