I came across this above-top-secret document in my researches. (actually, I didn’t, but either it does or it should exist somewhere)

HS2

The Hideously Superfluous railway.

Synopsis:

The purpose of this project is to develop a modern, high-speed system for transporting large amounts of cash from the public purse into the already bulging wallets of:

• Large international construction corporations
• Accountancy firms, including but regrettably not limited to the Big 4
• Legal firms, including but regrettably not limited to the Big 4
• “Consultants”
• PR firms
• Focus group management consultancies
• Customer experience consultants
• Market Research groups
• IT firms and consultants.
• Property speculators
• Hedge fund mangers
• Lobbying consultancies

At some point it may be necessary to develop and deliver a railway.

If such cannot be avoided, either reasonably or unreasonably, then Prime Considerations are:

• It shall be over budget by a factor of:
  • not less than 300% and
  • not more than 1,000%
• It shall remain at all times and under all circumstances behind schedule by
  • not less than ten years and
  • not more than twenty years.
• For the avoidance of doubt, the “schedule” date shall be as determined from time to time by a committee whose members shall all have vested interests in the project.
• It shall transfer as rapidly and as efficiently as possible the majority of expenditures on:
  • Civil Engineering
  • Structural Engineering
  • Mechanical Engineering
  • Electrical Engineering
  • As well as all major contracts for:
    • IT
    • Signalling
    • Track
    • Trackside Equipment
    • Rolling Stock
• To Foreign Owned companies or their subsidiaries.
• All systems, rolling stock, hardware, equipment packages, IT and signalling shall be obsolete and, wherever possible, shall not be fit for purpose without major modification.
• All suppliers, contractors, subcontractors, consultancies, and legal persons having interest in provision of goods and or services of any tier or level, save only the lowest level in any application, discipline, or field of endeavour, shall not be held liable for failure to perform any service, contractual or otherwise, either explicit or implicit and shall be free to charge for rectification of works and services by themselves or others as they shall deem most profitable.

Throughout, it must be born in mind that this railway shall connect two major hubs.

• It shall take into consideration that the majority of those unfortunate enough to have no alternative to this project do not reside in, at, or in the vicinity of either hub and will not travel to a destination in, at, or in the vicinity of the destination hub as appropriate.
• At no point will any consideration be given to any system, either proposed at present, or which may be proposed at date to be determined, which might offer any real benefits to any person or persons either living or dead.

It shall be a prime parameter of this project that, giving consideration to the rates of technological progress at date, and as may be reasonably projected during the delivery period of this project, the requirement for passenger transport between the two major hubs will be:

1. Minimised by  or,
2. Superseded by

Either:

1. Electronic transfer
2. Media services
3. Web-based F2F or group meeting services
4. Driverless electric cars, either operating singly or as part of AI controlled convoy systems.