Back, you Wokies! You screaming harpies! Get your painted talons away from that caustic mouse until you’ve read it all!

I went for a coffee this morning, it was a sunny day. It’s school holidays so teenage girls were everywhere. I’ve seen less meat in a butcher’s shop, less flesh in a strip bar. The sexiest girl of the lot was a young office worker. Blonde, hair up and neat, severe black business suit, knee length pencil skirt, very black tights, two-inch heels. She wasn’t doing anything but walking to get where she was going.

Why was she sexy? ‘Cos she was. Endof.

She didn’t waste any effort on showing anything. You’d get to see it when she decided you were good enough.

Once upon a time I was driving along New Road in Chippenham. It was a fine day, but breezy.

Along the pavement towards me came a girl, no, a young woman. She was wearing a dark raincoat, unbuttoned, blue dress front-buttoned, just above knee length, dark shoes, heels. As she strode into the wind, it made angel wings of her blonde hair, blew her coat into a theatrical cloak and pressed her dress against her thighs, her belly, her breasts. She looked great.

A Big, Strong, Healthy Girl.

Even as those words came up on my mental screen, I thought, “Why is that phrase such a thing with the Sniggerati? Why is it not one of the most sincere ways of describing a girl like that?”

There she was, striding through the world, ready to take it on and anything it could throw.

She was a Woman.

So here’s the thing.

Girls, Ladies, Women. Where  have you been all these thousands of years? Don’t say “running things from behind the puppets”. Not good enough.

Why have you let yourselves be bullied by the posturing and posing of men? Don’t give me that about men being physically bigger and stronger. The women warriors of history were feared and respected. Bet that was because of the way they fought, not how shiny their armour was. Any doubts? Try picking a fight with a momma bear and her cubs.

And don’t get all strident and shouty. That’s just copying the male posturing and posing. You lot don’t need to do that. And don’t start with the dominance stuff, that’s just, literally, bullshit.

(Oh, and a little sidenote here: I can’t stand opera. The female soprano voice does hurt my ears. Most males have a similar reaction, find it hard to listen to a high-pitched voice and resort to anger as a defence. My bad)

I had the privilege of watching a herd of cows and a bull cross a stream. The bull went first. He was the biggest, the strongest. Any problem in the crossing, hidden rocks, deep mud, wolves, he was best equipped to deal with it. And probably the most expendable from the point of view of a herd. (you can always find another male. Yes no?)  When he reached the other side, he stood on a little mound and waited until everyone else had crossed safely. Then he went off to turn more grass into bull.

Left to its own devices, a herd will be under (that’s the only word I can find at the moment) a senior cow. She is the queen of the herd. Because she knows how far a pregnant cow can walk without rest, when a little calf needs to sleep and for how long. She will decide when it’s time to move on and in what direction. She will decide when and where is the right place to stop. The bull will take care of security. This isn’t “I’m in charge”, this is sharing the load according to knowledge and ability with equal respect for all contributions.

On another occasion, I drove passed a field and there was a bull, lying down like a small hill. Around him were about a dozen calves, all lying down trying to look like Daddy. The bull was clearly pretending not to be interested. But I know he was blissed out. All the girls had gone up the other end of the field and left him in charge of the kids.

When I came back an hour later, he was still there and the girls were still having their coffee morning at the other end of the field. No fuss, just sensible division of the task. Calves are vulnerable, so leave an armoured tank to look after them. Makes sense.

I don’t know where this ends up, but it needs to get there soon.

We need you. Not as superiors or helpers or blah blah blah. We need you as partners. You can do things we can’t. Think in ways we can’t. Don’t try to be better than us. Don’t try to be the same as us. Be what you are.

Different but equal.