If you ever encounter any of the following people,  RUN, do not look back. Run.

AN HONEST MAN We’re all liars. And that includes women. Anyone presenting themselves as totally honest is telling the biggest lie of all.

A REASONABLE PERSON        We aren’t reasonable. We’re weird and passionate and bigoted, loyal and treacherous, straight as a die and crooked as a dog’s hind leg. We listen to all the arguments and do whatever we were going do in the first place.

AN AVERAGE  PERSON           There simply is nobody who fits on all the mean points of measurement. If you ever find one, it’s very dangerous. Everything about us is on a spectrum, a sliding scale. Height, weight, skin colour, temperament, intellect. We all fit somewhere on these scales, and being up on one and down on another gives us balance. Without that, we’re downright weird, an explosion waiting to happen.

A RIGHT-MINDED PERSON      usually means you’re talking to a bigoted loonie.

These are phrases that should be a warning sign:

EVERYBODY KNOWS  that means they think this or that and want it taken as fact without any support.

IN MY HUMBLE OPIINION         means “my arrogant and unsupported belief”

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT        means “I think you’re talking out of your fundament”

I YIELD TO NOBODY IN MY ADMIRATION FOR…. I despise them.