London, the city I loved for nearly all my life. Her streets, her pride, her glories and her shames. Her parks and spaces, her broken down slums. Her lakes, her rivers.

I watched her grow from weed strewn bombsites to the golden ‘60s and on.

She is closed now. A forbidden city, a sham, a grotesque, a parody.

I will not go there.

ULEZ?

The only cure:

Step 1: build a 20ft wall round the perimeter

Step 2: fill it with water.

In case you don’t know, that was originally a joke about France.

France is still there. And I love her too.